RSS SPIRIT

Dateline: Somewhere deep in your communication coils

With the recent revelations of mass spying on U.S. Citizens, one might wonder: what to do if I realize I am being spied upon? The following list will help guide you in the eventuality that your shady life is of interest to invasive authorities:

After realizing you are under surveillance:

1. Drop the crack pipe


2. Put on a fresh pair of underpants


3. Rat out those you dislike


4. You can deduct time under surveillance off your taxes


5. Rip out dental fillings


6. Do not let your grandmother reveal embarrassing childhood gaffes on the phone


7. Avoid using the following languages: Arabic, Russian, Chinese, Tagalong, Somali and any non-American accented English

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