RSS SPIRIT

Dateline: Where Flesh Meets Screen

One gets on Match.com, Salon.com, et al, and one gets excited. Look at all that love for sale, one thinks. Acres of available meat looking to meet, mate and marry for now and forever, amen. What make these services particularly seductive are the search capacities. Want a GBF with a proclivity for salsa dancing and power tools? Type in a few keywords and a gallery of freaks appears on your screen. Like the commercial says, "They are waiting to talk to you now."

Alas the reality is, like so much in this world, not quite as advertised. Sure it can happen, people meeting, mating and living happily ever after on a bed lined with unicorn fur. The reality: for every 8 gazillion dates entered into, one or two lucky bastards finds real love. The most common story of online dating: guy hunts for girl, chats up girl, presents façade to girl that experience has shown will impress, makes a date with girl and then either gets some or the whole thing is a bust.

The problem with online dating is primarily a function of the medium. It is easy to lie online. It is easy to present oneself as something palatable to another human being when one is not. Also the vast amount of choice in online dating leads to a grazing mentality. Why stick with one bit of tart when one can nibble on one piece while simultaneously hunting for the next tidbit to munch on?

The main problem is the candy store nature of the format. Everyone is trying to sell their ass so nobody ever sees an authentic human being on the other end of the profile. In real life, say at one's job, one gets to see the three-dimensional individual before making a choice whether to pursue or reject. One can see the cranky morning side, the under stress side, the bored and mischievous side.

Online dating is a good place to get some, preferably with a foreigner who does not understand the language well and will not be able to stalk you because they cannot read street signs properly. Leave love to life and let the internet do what the internet does best: indulge our disgusting perversions in a variety of media.

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