04 April 2006
SPORT: Urban Pedstrian Season Arrives
Will You Be Road King Or Road Toad?
It is that time of year when the robin returns and the urban pedestrian season begins. For those of us on the professional circuit, we use this time to brush up on the fundamentals and get ready for a monster season. Fitness of course is the first issue. Urban walking requires tolerance to low oxygen environments such as behind idling buses. Also you need a quick first step to jump a jaywalk in front of a cement truck.
Urban pedestrians become champions by doing a few basic things over and over. Staying alive of course tops the list. Never stopping is a close second. Professional power walkers can cruise through 18 different neighborhoods, 17 miles and 16 hours with only a couple stops for lunch, snack and a couple minutes in a park to enjoy the day.
Urban pedestrians should carry a few tools that have been road tested. A good pair of shoes tops the list. These need to assume for a changing environment over the course of a walk. A compass and a map never hurt a long trek. You would be surprised how helpful knowing which direction you are walking is. Also, historically, maps demonstrably help get you from point A to B expeditiously.
Nietzsche's famous axiom will help shape the urban pedestrian esprit de ped-X: That which does not kill me make me stronger. Here is a basic list of what can kill you and not kill you. Be sure to adjust for local conditions.
Kill you: trash trucks, cabs, SUVs, youth gangs, buses, drug addicts, hidden holes, drunk drivers, electrified metal plates, vicious dogs, drifters, trains, quick moving rivers, long check out lines.
Not kill you: old women, mail carriers, babies in strollers, ancient oak trees, haunted mansions, forgotten alleys, sunsets, sun rises, young beauties parading like they got all that (and they do.)
Victory comes not without sweat. Typically the winner arrives at the end of a monster power walk silted with urban filth, bleary eyed, occasionally delusional. But all is worth it when you arrive at an old dock in a quiet bay surrounded by fat clouds. The city gives it up 'freaky for real' only to urban power walkers.
We wish you a sterling strolling season ahead.
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